The recognised union for workers in Juicyfruithippo, Convect, have decided to outsource upcoming industrial action regarding the annual distribution of the corporate biscuit review. Discussions broke down over a difference of opinion about the status of garibaldi’s that were withdrawn earlier in the year but which now have been reintroduced but with reduced fruit content.

 

Convect are due to ballot its member in the coming weeks but has made a strategic decision ahead of the vote to outsource the actual industrial action activities to various organisations in order to reduce costs, improve the effectiveness of the actions and to allow its member to have a week off to go on a well deserved boating holiday on the Norfolk Broads.

 

Action is likely to include some of their old favourites such as the “Poo on your Managers Porsche” campaign which proved so effective in the eightes. This had been thought to be an obsolete campaign but Porsches are springing up all over the place recently. Another plan is surrounding the Juicyfruithippo’s offices on horseback whilst firing arrows at the windows, this  has been outsourced to an Indian corporation in Mumbai. A spokesman of “Strikeforce” said that they are urgently seeking a meeting with Convect as they are pretty sure they are the wrong sort of Indians for the job, but are willing to give it a go, replacing arrows with onion bhajis and riding on ramshackle bicycles instead of horses.

 

Further discussions are planned in an attempt to head off conflict later this week, CEO Blakemore has hinted that Hobnobs may now be on the table.