Press Release
It’s an odd time for a new technology company to launch itself amid fears of Stock market crashes and economy downturns, but that’s exactly what Juicyfruithippo.com has done today. CEO Stuart Blakemore stepped out onto the podium outside the UK based Humour Consultancy and Risk Reimplementation Specialists new Headquarters.
The Dodo Effect
Blakemore believes that the reduction of risk in a post millennial business world has led to corporations failing to innovate. “Necessity is the mother of invention, eradicate all risk and you have no possibility of an unknown outcome. So your staff loses the ability to think differently when faced with challenge. You have in effect created dodo businesses, walking around the forest floor, not using their wings anymore and waiting for evolution to remove them from existence, Sarbanes Oxley ahs gone too far, its time that risk was released back into the wild, in a controlled way, in order to fuel the next generation of innovation.”
Blakemore denies that his companies patented Dali Surrealism Generator was installed in the NYSE last week, causing the current share value turmoil around the world, but claims that this is a great example of how chaos, once unbottled onto our risk averse landscape can wreak havoc. “Look at the damage that has happened today to the market capitalisation of some of the worlds most respected organisations. That is because everyone has read the same books, done the same MBA’s and their reactions can be predicted. In the economy that emerges from the ashes of this downturn, unpredictability will be the key to future success and juicyfruithippo.com can provide the methodology, technology and expertise to deliver that chaos.” At this he set fire to a Black and Decker Work Bench and threw yoghurt into a specially assembled flock of Crested Grebes.
ReRisking
He summed up“Juicyfruithippo.com intends to be the number one risk reimplementor in the global marketplace within 12 months” stated the plump and slightly jaded CEO. “We have a trusted methodology, Arrive, Bill and Leave which we believe is unique in the Humour consultancy business. This is further backed up by our patented Dali Processor which can deliver surreal business events into an organisation at a moments notice. Its web based technology allows rapid deployment able to deliver unfettered chaos into an organisation within moments of installation by our trained otters”. Investors and markets will watch with interest the development of this new business concept, the first for many years that doesn’t involve California.
For more information check out www.juicyfruithippo.com